Why You Don’t Trust Yourself (Even When You’re Right)

If you’ve ever felt torn, stuck, or unsure, it’s not your fault—and it’s fixable.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Have you ever spent hours weighing a simple decision—only to still feel unsure, anxious, or like you made the wrong call?

You’re not alone.

Many people struggle to trust their own decisions, even when the stakes are low. And while it might look like a simple case of “overthinking,” the truth runs deeper.

Beneath that indecision is a hidden layer of conditioning, a subconscious belief quietly whispering:

“You’re not allowed to make a mistake.”

That whisper often comes from years of perfectionism.
From childhood environments where love or approval was tied to performance.
From life experiences where getting things wrong felt dangerous, humiliating, or shameful.

And the result?

Your inner compass gets clouded.
You start second-guessing yourself not because you’re indecisive—but because a part of you has been trained to believe:

“If I make the wrong choice, I’m not safe.”

Why Perfectionism Fuels Indecision

Perfectionism is often misunderstood.
It’s not about being neat, organized, or striving for excellence.

At its root, perfectionism is a survival strategy.
It says: If I can just do everything right, I won’t be rejected. I’ll finally be enough.

This mindset creates constant pressure.
Decisions become landmines.
One “wrong” move might mean criticism, failure, or feeling like you’ve let someone down.

Over time, this creates a freeze response—not in your logic, but in your nervous system.

Even when your conscious mind tries to weigh the pros and cons, a deeper part of you may be flooded with fear and doubt.

That’s not weakness.
It’s a protective mechanism.
Your system learned to keep you safe.

But here’s the empowering part:

What was learned can be unlearned.

The Real Work: Balancing the Energy Behind the Belief

To shift this pattern, we don’t just need to think differently—we need to balance the energy underneath the belief.

This is exactly where tools like the Pondera Process^® for Beliefs come in.

When we identify and shift the hidden energy of perfectionism, we clear the fog.

Decision-making becomes easier, calmer, and more intuitive—because the internal alarm bells are no longer blaring.

Let’s try a simple version of this work right now.

🛠️ A Simple Exercise to Reclaim Trust in Your Decisions

Step 1: Identify the Thought Behind the Doubt
Bring to mind a recent decision that made you spiral into overthinking.
Now ask yourself:

What belief was I holding about myself or the situation that caused the doubt?

Common hidden beliefs include:

• “If I make the wrong choice, I’ll be judged.”

• “I’m not good at making decisions.”

• “I need someone else to tell me what to do.”

Write down what comes up. Don’t overthink it—just notice.

Step 2: Meet the Belief with Compassion
Recognize that this belief formed to protect you. Say gently to yourself:

“This belief was trying to keep me safe. But it no longer serves me.”

Take a deep breath. Place a hand over your heart if that feels comfortable.

Step 3: Rewire the Pattern with a New Belief
Ask: What’s a more empowering belief I’m ready to hold instead?

Try one of these:

• “I can make thoughtful decisions without fear.”

• “It’s okay to make mistakes—that’s how I learn.”

• “I trust myself to choose what’s best for me.”

Now pause and let that belief settle in.
Imagine sending it through your body like a calming wave.

You’ve just taken the first step to untangling years of conditioning.
Small shifts like this—practiced regularly—create deep change.

Final Thought

Your indecision is not a flaw.
It’s a symptom of an outdated belief system.

And you have the power to change it.

When you learn how to balance the emotional energy underneath your patterns, you stop being at war with yourself.

Clarity returns.
Peace follows.
You can hear your own wisdom again.

That’s what empowered self-help is really about—
Not fixing yourself, but freeing yourself.

With steady practice, your inner guidance becomes something you can consistently trust.

Please share this article with another person who is wanting to trust themselves

💬 Ready to Stop Doubting Yourself and Start Trusting Your Inner Wisdom?

If you’re tired of spinning your wheels and want support shifting from fear to clarity, I invite you to book an intro coaching session with me. You can also pick up a free copy of the Pondera Process for Beliefs here.

We’ll use the Pondera Process® to:
✔️ Clear the fear that’s keeping you stuck
✔️ Reconnect you with your body’s wisdom
✔️ Help you move forward with more confidence and peace
👉 Click here to schedule your session today → empowered mindset coaching