Understanding what was happening in my nervous system has made it much easoer for me to feel safe and comfortable with setting healthy boundaries. The next step is to learn ways to balance the energy in our nervous system so that we are not so easily triggered and can realize our intentions more consistently. Fortunately, we have techniques for doing just that!
Larry, thank you for sharing this. I didn't realize that setting boundaries literally feels like a threat to my body, just like other triggers! That's makes so much sense, and I can better now why they are so hard to make, and especially to keep!
A great point to remember is No can be a whole sentence. No explanation or apology is required. A straight no will do. Which is very hard to do at first.
I’ve seen it repeatedly in my office—every time I said no to a task or I disagreed, my superior or colleague would be a bit shocked. But the next day? They’d act surprisingly calm—or even more pleasant toward me. That felt good.
By honoring my own boundaries, I was also gaining their respect. Show you care for yourself, and others will mirror that respect toward you. We really do mirror each other’s behavior.
What fascinates me is your saying that the vagus nerve plays a defensive role in moments of social danger, such as stepping out of your comfort zone. Wow!
Yep. We can soften the way we say no so that it is more comfortable, but "no" is the operative word.
As a recovering codependent, I can appreciate this post. Good job! 👍
Thank you. We have lots of company in the recovering codependent club. -:)
Thank you, Toni. Keep showing thos around you what is possible!
Understanding what was happening in my nervous system has made it much easoer for me to feel safe and comfortable with setting healthy boundaries. The next step is to learn ways to balance the energy in our nervous system so that we are not so easily triggered and can realize our intentions more consistently. Fortunately, we have techniques for doing just that!
Larry, thank you for sharing this. I didn't realize that setting boundaries literally feels like a threat to my body, just like other triggers! That's makes so much sense, and I can better now why they are so hard to make, and especially to keep!
A great point to remember is No can be a whole sentence. No explanation or apology is required. A straight no will do. Which is very hard to do at first.
that's even harder for me!! lol!
By saying no, we really do show self-respect.
I’ve seen it repeatedly in my office—every time I said no to a task or I disagreed, my superior or colleague would be a bit shocked. But the next day? They’d act surprisingly calm—or even more pleasant toward me. That felt good.
By honoring my own boundaries, I was also gaining their respect. Show you care for yourself, and others will mirror that respect toward you. We really do mirror each other’s behavior.
What fascinates me is your saying that the vagus nerve plays a defensive role in moments of social danger, such as stepping out of your comfort zone. Wow!
I really loved the article, Larry 😊